Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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