we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
