haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
