Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
