i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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