Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
