i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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