I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I want a musical about memes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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