Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the condom got lost in my hair
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
