He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
