Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
