Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
