The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
ttyl tear gas
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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