Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
