yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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