Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize