just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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