I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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