you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
