It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
