Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
