So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
