Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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