It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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