yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize