I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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