WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize