Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
no, he came in my armpit
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
