i just made my gag reflex go away.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
