guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize