i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
