apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize