It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
