we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
