Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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