i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Randomize
