im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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