How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
