Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
