dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
