Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
