I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
