Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
