It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have so many feelings about this burrito
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
