I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
