Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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