Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize