I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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