This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
