I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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