Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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