when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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