We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize