he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
