So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize