direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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