she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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