i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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