Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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