yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize