brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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