No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
