he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
